Drunk Anatomy

Hello, snuggle bugs! How are you? I missed you or I missed my idea of you because I don't really know who's reading this. But I missed the imaginary version of you greatly in these past seven days. And I'm sorry if me saying that reminded you of a time when someone thought of you as a concept instead of a person because OUCH.

Anyway! We're here to talk about anatomy, not the complex intricacies of companionship. And let's just collectively ignore how much I sounded like a robot mimicking humans to further some takeover. I'm not an undercover robot, maybe YOU'RE an undercover robot.

Everybody, shut up and let's discuss the biceps!!!

Why the biceps, oh dirty haired one?

Because guess what adorable not-genius knows where the biceps are located-- this girl! This person lady. ME.

For those of you who don't know or who are playing coy so as to further the conversation, which is a very Cosmo Girl strategy, btw, the biceps are the potatoes of the arms when you do the standard arm flex. They're the things that bulge! They're the muscles on the inside of your upper arm!

Like its rhyming neighbor muscle the triceps, the bicep is comprised of heads. Ugh. But just two this time! Huh, that's probs the reasoning behind the prefix "bi" instead of "tri." Look at us, stumbling upon revelations all over the place! The biceps have a short and a long head. The short head is on the inside of the biceps, closest to your torso, and the long head is on the top of the muscle, facing away from the body.

What the what?

Did you know that when you flex your biceps or put it to work, you're dragging the forearm on up high? No? Well, neither did I until earlier this evening.

You use it when you go all West Side Story with the finger snapping, when you hold a sweater over your shoulder using your pointer finger, when you play Jenga, when you mix things, when you help your nightmare friends move AGAIN, when you turn the steering wheel, when you spin a basketball on your fingertip, etc.

How do I make my biceps feel safe and cared for?

Get. A. MUH. SAH. JE. Get a massage. Just go get one right now. Get a Mantis mssage. [falls over flipping hair back]

Also, here's a super easy stretch for a super cool you!

You're going to hold both hands out, fingers pointing to the ground and then hold the fingers of one hand with the opposite hand. It's going to look like you're revealing your palm to the world, all, "This is my palm. Look at my palm. It is quite the palm, is it not?"

And that's a wrap on the bicep! I almost don't want to leave but I definitely want to take a nap in the middle of eating a pizza so yeah. Until next time, dear hearts.

 

Lindsay is the Office Superhero (check the business cards) at Mantis Massage. She knows essentially zilch about massage therapy other than that it feels real nice. Outside of random trivia, she has retained nothing from talking with the therapists re: anatomy. Lindsay might maybe possibly definitely be inebriated for these discussions, but who's to say?