Drunk Anatomy

Hello, Drunk Anatomy-ers!!! It's been so long and yet everything's remained unchanged. I'm still a garbage can and you're still...I don't know? However I imagine you to be at a given moment? SEND ME PICS SO I CAN PROPERLY IMAGINE YOU. But only wearing clothes. Your swimsuit area is not to be revealed.

Anyway, here we are falling into old patterns. I'm at the kitchen table/desk with a vodka soda, muttering to myself, and you're rolling your eyes, all, "This again?" Beautiful.

Today I took my beloved pooch to Emancipet to get his last booster shot and trim his nails, which yielded some truly heart wrenching squeaks and struggling. I almost cried but managed to cover it with nervous laughter (hashtag repressed white girl); meaning, I'm very due for some alcohol. And anatomy, of course.

THIS ISN'T EVEN ABOUT MUSCLES ANYMORE.

Settle, petal. This is about to get very anatomy-centric. Observe:

The muscle of the week is the extensor digitorum!!!

I know what you're thinking and it is not a Digimon. It's a muscle in the forearm! And as icing on the repulsive fascial lining muscle cake, its name actually pertains to its function! The EG extends the digits of the hand- it's exactly what it sounds like. It's the nevernude of the muscle world.

But where in the forearm? The posterior! Which means the back, anterior means front. The EG runs from the elbow to the wrist and like most muscles, it's just a long strip. It's thicker at the elbow and thinner at the wrist but looks-wise it's pretty average.

Tell me more about this Digimon nevernude muscle.

The EG is a gesticulation muscle! If you're anything like me, you can't get through a conversation without some limp-wristed flailing so this is A Very Important Muscle. You use it when you hold utensils, do finger pistols, form inflammatory gestures, when you're drunk and you're taking pics with randos whom you love very much very briefly and you for some unknown reason throw up a peace sign, doing spirit fingers, also jazz hands, gang signs, that Spock hand gesture thing with the pointer and middle fingers on one side and the ring and pinky fingers on the other, the illuminati sign, juggling, shuffling cards, magic tricks, OTHER THINGS.

Teach me how to care for my EG. I want to make a change but I want you to spell it out for me.

Alright-y-roo! Let's hop to it! You can obviously of course get a massage with any of our talented therapists who will work out any knots that ail you.

I also have some stretches prepared for your home care!

The lack of tightness in your EG is well worth the embarrassment of having to perform these stretches.

 

Lindsay is the Office Superhero (check the business cards) at Mantis Massage. She knows essentially zilch about massage therapy other than that it feels real nice. Outside of random trivia, she has retained nothing from talking with the therapists re: anatomy. Lindsay might maybe possibly definitely be inebriated for these discussions, but who's to say?