Drunk Anatomy

This very special Drunk Anatomy coincides with a very special Mantis Massage announcement: we're opening a very special second location! Unbeknownst to y'all, this has been in the works for YEARS. First as an idea, then a goal, and now a reality! It's a very exciting time in the Mantis Massage family and just like the rest of you, I can't wait to see what happens. I bet it'll be cute. I bet there will be string lights and a similar color pallet and MASSAGES.

Okay, that's quite enough sincerity and speculation! Let's move onto some rambling and incomprehensible jokes!

The muscle of the week is...the quadratus lumborum!

A second location! That's cool! Where is it going to be?

Thank you for asking me a question instead of being a jerk and making me feel self-conscious as per usual! The second location will be in SoCo (Where do we stand on that abbreviation? Do we hate it? What's the consensus?) at 2700 South Congress! Can you handle it???

So. The quadratus lumborum. I'm surprised I didn't cover this back when I first started Drunk Anatomy and I was checking off all the obvious muscles. Sure, I started off pretty good with the latissimus dorsi, but shortly thereafter it was like, the pecs and glutes- muscles literally every human being knows. How nouveau anatomy blogger can you get? Ugh, I'm embarrassed for my previous self.

This is a muscle that gets bandied about in our office and after sessions like every day because it's a problem child. It's what we in the medical field call a Jan Brady.

The quadratus lumborum is a bit of a conundrum. It's widely considered to be a low back muscle when it in actuality is just the deepest abdominal muscle. But where does the abdomen stop and the back begin? Is this just a way for us to draw arbitrary muscle lines in the anatomy sand and keep our disgusting body parts separated? Aren't we all just one muscle, the human muscle?

Um, no? We're multiple muscles making up one human?

Open your eyes! Open your heart! Open your torso!

No, don't do that. Everything inside of us is gross and hidden beneath our skin for a reason.

The quadratus lumborum is in the low back and I don't know about you, but I don't really think of the low back as being a particularly active feature. Like, it's not a hopping place. And despite the longstanding tradition of me being wrong and talking at length about things I don't understand, I actually am correct this time!

It helps to stabilize the spine and pelvis, but I cannot for the life of me think of a specific instance or movement. This is going to be the first Drunk Anatomy in history without a list of examples and for that, and only that, I apologize about what happened here today. (And I apologize for nothing else ever. Don't get greedy.)

You're not even going to try?

Look, all I can think of as potentially an example is how Rihanna dances in the "Work" videos, that's all I got.

Now onto the home care portion of this blog! Despite the fact that the quadratus lumborum doesn't really DO anything, there's no shortage of stretches centered around it.

Let me back up just to say that I know that the quadratus lumborum serves a purpose, I get that, but it seems like it does that ALL THE TIME and not just when you, like, do a handstand or something.

Anyway, a stretch! For this one, lay down on the floor and stretch your arms out like you are crushed under the weight of life, feeling like insignificant garbage and you cannot bear to hold yourself up against gravity for another second. Perfect!

Next, keeping your shoulders flat, twist at the hips so that one leg is crossed and laying over the other. It should be draped so much that is passes the bottom leg. Once you've artistically draped your leg, take comfort in the steady presence of the floor underneath you. And then switch legs.

Lindsay is the Communications Maven at Mantis Massage. She knows essentially zilch about massage therapy other than that it feels real nice. Lindsay might maybe possibly definitely be inebriated for these discussions, but who's to say?