Drunk Anatomy

Hey y'all! Before we get started, can I just tell you how glad I am that I came around to "y'all"? I was really against it at first because I moved to Texas when I was seventeen and to me it was a signifier of the differences between the South and the North so I wanted no part of it. In fact, I treated that word with some majorly unwarranted disgust. Because I was a snot. A teenage dirtbag as we all were and if you weren't, keep that to yourself. Also, you will probably go through a phase in your adulthood to make up for not being a pile of garbage in your adolescence, which is what it's for. So. Watch out. 

ANYWAY, now I embrace y'all because it's easier to say than "you guys" and it's gender inclusive. What more could you ask for from an informal plural pronoun? Not much!

So, how are? How is everything? What do you think of the new website layout? Are you excited about the grand opening of our SoCo location, which will occur in the coming weeks at a to be announced date? Let us know in the comments! If you don't, I will be forced to make the blanket assumption that you are not excited for us and, not only that, wish us harm. (Like teenage me with "y'all." Callback!) I'd like to think otherwise, but when you refuse to interact, you're kind of forcing my hand, y'know?

Unrelated: the muscle of the week is the splenius capitis!

That was actually the only part that was related.

Mmm, debatable.

The splenius capitis is not near your spleen as one might expect. In fact, it's not anywhere near your spleen. It's in the back of your neck! A betrayal of trust, no? I'd certainly say so!

The splenius capitis is located in the back of the neck, stretching diagonally from the base of your skull (near the ear) to your spine (above the shoulders, not super far down). It's involved in head movements, so, with that in mind, you use your splenius capitis when you: turn your head dramatically to look off into the distance; whip your hair back and forth; tilt your head in confusion like a pupperoni; shake your head to silently communicate with someone behind a third party's back; bobbing your head to music because you can't dance and/or have limited mobility; look up at the stars or clouds or signs or anything above your head, really; and also other instances, probably.

Those were actual instances of movement this time!

Thank you for noticing! I anticipated much grumbling and frowning and eye squinting if I didn't come through on this one. I just want you to be satisfied with your Drunk Anatomy experience. Onto the home care portion of this post!

I'd like to preface this by saying, our therapists will work out your splenius capitis better than some loser stretch could ever hope to imagine. Seriously, they've worked on mine and it's like being a dog grabbed by the scruff of the neck except there's massaging and it's therapeutic instead of demeaning.

The super easy stretches for the splenius capitis go as follows: bring your chin to your collar bone, hold it. Or tilt your head down and to the side so your ear is trying to listen to your armpit, hold it.

Lindsay is the Communications Maven at Mantis Massage. She knows essentially zilch about massage therapy other than that it feels real nice. Lindsay might maybe possibly definitely be inebriated for these discussions, but who's to say?