Drunk Anatomy

Hey buddy o'pals, how are things? What are you up to? I'm sweating because Austin decided to do something a little different this year and be super flippin' humid like every other city in my life. Anyway, now that everyone knows I'm putting my Dove Clinical Protection Cool Essentials Antiperspirant Deodorant™ to work, let's talk anatomy!

This week, we will be taking a hard, unflinching look at the serratus anterior. It is, in fact, a muscle and not a room full of knives and other assorted cutlery as one might expect.

This is an anatomy blog. I don't think anyone thought it was a "room full of knives."

Circled in red on this photograph is the muscle in question.

As you can see and cringe at, the serratus anterior is located below your armpits on your side via the ribs. I'm going to take a GIANT leap and assume this muscle's name and beefed up appearance is the reason for buff bods being referred to as "shredded." Truly the bod pictured above is shredded and it's a worrisome sight to behold. (Mine does not look like that, though, does anyone who is not a bodybuilder have one that defined? Let me know in the comments!)

There are three parts of the muscle (the three strips as seen on the dude bro's body) which are the serratus anterior superior (the highest, a little uppity tbh), the serratus anterior intermediate (the middle, very level-headed), and the serratus anterior inferior (the lowest, lots of self worth issues).

Wow, maybe don't body shame that guy for being so shredded.

Okay, you can't body shame men for being too muscular? That's not a thing? No man has ever experienced systemic marginalization due to being ripped?

Based on the location and size of the serratus anterior, it doesn't seem like this muscle does much of importance.

It's there to affix the scapula to its rightful place- yeesh, how dramatically did I phrase that one? According to my sources, the serratus anterior is responsible for frontal arm movements as well as pulling the scapula to the front around the ribs.

If that was a big, "Uh, wha?" for you, too, don't worry. Here are some examples to illustrate these movements: punching someone in the face, doing a push-up, punching someone in the arm, putting books on your head, punching someone in the stomach, swinging a golf club, punching someone in the neck, holding your jacket above your and your crush's heads in the rain.

You used the same example like five times.

Nope, only four! This seems like a difficult to impossible muscle to stretch. Let's find out if my preconceived notions of stretchability align with reality, shall we?

They don't! There are some very simple stretches for the serratus anterior. But how would you know if it was sore? That's the real question. Your therapist could very easily tell you, I guess, so that's not really a stumper. Man, I am over or under estimating everything today.

Okay, stretch time. Behind your back, with one hand hold the opposite wrist. With the hand that is grasping, pull the grasped wrist/arm toward the grasping hand. THIS IS THE WORST EXPLANATION IN THE WORLD, BLAHHHH. And hold that until you feel a release.

Also get a Mantis Massage massage.

Lindsay is the Office Superhero (check the business cards) at Mantis Massage. She knows essentially zilch about massage therapy other than that it feels real nice. Outside of random trivia, she has retained nothing from talking with the therapists re: anatomy. Lindsay might maybe possibly definitely be inebriated for these discussions, but who's to say?