Drunk Anatomy

S'up nerds! What are you up to? Okay, that's nice, moving on because no one cares and I can't hear you-- I AM WRITING THIS FROM THE PAST; WE CANNOT INTERACT. (But if you really want, you can leave a comment and I might notice. I don't get notifications so it's a gamble!)

I'm going to take a giant leap and assume you're curioso about what's going on with me. Well, yesterday I exercised my civil duty to keep a certain white supremacist out of office and early voted. I went to a courthouse in Oakland and walked around the entire circumference of the building and then once I managed to make my way indoors, I then asked three people for directions. I know, I just glide through life. And today I'm waiting for maintenance to replace my fridge because it's been leaking intermittently. Such Glamour. Glamore! Glamorati!

Look, it's been a long day.

The muscle of the week is the corrugator supercilii!

Glamore and Glamorati are not words.

You! Are! No! Fun! Also, I have an English degree from a reputable university--I know what words are! Ooh, that was real sassy and even more classicist. Forgive me.

Alright, so the corrugator supercilii sounds like some layer terminology. Like, if the corroborating evidence was so absurd that it challenged the severity of a case or made it difficult for the jury to sustain their collective belief. Oh, sorry, are you not all living with lawyers in training? Just me? Okay, never mind, it sounds like a muscle and I just need to get out more.

The corrugator supercilii is located under the eyebrow from the start of your brow (near the nose) to the arch (I'm sorry if you don't have a natural arch, that must be tough.)

Is it underneath your eyebrow as in like south of it or underneath as in layered underneath your eyebrow hairs?

The latter! In terms of layering, it goes the corrugator supercilii, then skin, then eyebrow hairs.

That was a good, relevant question! Well done, my-projection-of-the-reader!

As far as function goes, this may blindside some of you, but the corrugator supercilii is in fact involved in brow furrowing. This is the muscle to thank for the wrinkles on your forehead and between your brows. You use your corrugator supercilii when looking at someone who makes poor life choices; squinting against the sun; squinting against the scent of tea tree oil; feeling e-mo-tion-al; concentrating on something dull; trying to look busy and occupied; grimacing; and other times when you scrunch up your face!

You basically just described emotional responses, not really actions.

You tell me what actions your eyebrows take! Go on, I'm listening. Yeah, I didn't think so.

Due to its location, you can't stretch the corrugator supercilii, but you can delicately massage it. Massage therapists, however, who are licensed in the practice of massage, would be better at massaging your corrugator supercilii than you could ever hope to be.

Lindsay is the Communications Maven at Mantis Massage. She knows essentially zilch about massage therapy other than that it feels real nice. Lindsay might maybe possibly definitely be inebriated for these discussions, but who's to say?