Drunk Anatomy

Good time of day at which you are reading this, Drunk Anatomy-ers! As you might've guessed from that sentence, my ability to say things that make sense to other people is not really in full force today, which means this is going to be a very confusing Drunk Anatomy.

All Drunk Anatomy posts are confusing. Isn't that the point?

Pfft, no! The point is for me to shed a microscopic amount of light onto the life of a muscle and also to make me feel like I'm funny--duh.

The muscle that we will be shedding light on today is the mentalis and, yes, I did pick it because it sounded like the CBS serial crime drama The Mentalist. Now, I have never actually watched a single episode of that show because I had no interest in the premise and the dude wasn't hot enough for me to give it a shot despite that--real talk, white men are never as attractive as we are made to believe.

What was I saying? Oh, right, the mentalis! It's a muscle that solves crimes by noticing things--nope, that's not it. It's a muscle located in the upper chin. It's a small V-shaped muscle and I have to wonder, are pronounced mentalises butt chins?

(Did I sound like Carrie Bradshaw there? I do a better Samantha Jones, but it didn't really fit. I genuinely don't even like that show; it's just such a common reference point.)

Why do you keep talking about things you don't like? Why do you know so much about things that you don't like? What's your deal?

I don't know, it's who I am!

The mentalis has a cutesy, revealing nickname: "the pouting muscle." I'm not entirely convinced that this is something other people call it and not just what the mentalis wishes it were called.

It is involved in chin and lower lip movements such as pouting to get your way; frowning exaggeratedly; when you press your lips together in quiet disconcertment; pouting to manipulate someone; when you ugly cry and your chin quivers and dimples; frowning in genuine displeasure; also pouting and other mouth stuff. Like talking!

Hmm, you must use your mentalis pretty incessantly then, huh?

Hey! Not nice! Not strictly ballroom untrue, but still not nice!

While I don't think my chin has ever been sore, regardless of how much I use my mentalis, there's no harm in stretching it! Unfortunately, much like most face muscles, you can't do some contrived gesture to stretch it out. You can, however, dig and drag your knuckles up and down your chin.

And there was another thing. What was it? What was the other thing you could do for your mentalis? Oh yeah, get a massage!

Lindsay is the Office Superhero (check the business cards) at Mantis Massage. She knows essentially zilch about massage therapy other than that it feels real nice. Lindsay might maybe possibly definitely be inebriated for these discussions, but who's to say?