Drunk Anatomy

Disclaimer: I AM HAVING AN EMOTION TODAY SO PLEASE BEAR WITH ME DURING THIS MAUDLIN DRUNK ANATOMY. Explanation: I finished reading Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe and I am incredibly fragile about it. Fragile like a lone flower that is most def going to get stepped on. By life.

Have you read it? If you haven't and you like YA LGBT novels, check it out! If you're snobbing at me rn THERE IS VERY LITTLE MEDIA WHERE PPL LIKE ME GET TO BE ALIVE AND NOT MISERABLE SO, YEAH, WHATEVER, I READ BOOKS INTENDED FOR TEENS. Off topic: Do you ever feel like you could burst into tears at any given moment? Cool, cool, same, me neither.

Let's suppress our emotions with a little anatomy lesson, shall we?

This time we're taking a look at the orbicularis oculi, which sounds like some wizard world nonsense.

Are you sure you're in the right place emotionally to be writing this blog?

Ha! I am literally never in the right place emotionally to do anything, but thank you for the concern.

Avid readers of this here blog/mental garbage dump will recall that last week when we were learning about the orbicularis oris,  I thought it should be an eye muscle, but it wasn't. So I looked for an eye muscle and it's almost the exact same name??? They (the Anatomy Namers) just switched out the second word, which seems monumentally lazy. (In Latin, orbicularis is derived from "orbis" so I guess it's a circle thing, but they still should've done more to differentiate it. Righteous indignation!)

The orbicularis oculi, which is what we're here to talk about, no matter how many tangents we go on, is a circular muscle surrounding the eye. It looks like a pair of goggles. Really creepy flesh goggles that might haunt my dreams... And yours, too!

What a nightmare.

Thanks for sharing that.

The main reason for the orbicularis oculi's existence is to close the eyelids, which is both noble and somehow enormously sad to me. Can you imagine if all you were ever good for was to close an eyelid? Devastating. I'm glad we're sentient humans and not just singular muscles doing menial tasks-- OH WAIT THAT'S BASICALLY WHAT WE ALL ARE.

Am I really going to list off ways that you close your eyes? You bet I am!

You use your orbicularis oculi to blink; to sleep perchance to dream; to WINK; to flutter your eyelashes all, "Who, me?"; when you squint at someone to make them feel very not with it, which is mean, please be kind to one another; when you're trying to get something out of your eye; when you're protecting yourself from the probing touch of an optometrist; and I genuinely have no idea anymore.

Let me know when you use your orbicularis oculi in the comments!

Do people actually leave you comments?

One person did one time! It was kind of gratifying, but mostly confusing.

Our fantastic, knowledgeable, wondrous lead therapist Monica actually told me a little about taking care of this muscle (at least I think this is what she was talking about). She said you LIGHTLY trace along it and it helps to relieve eyestrain, headaches, can improve your vision, reupholster your furniture, and sometimes fix dyslexia! Can you believe that? So lightly trace your orbicularis oculi and see what happens. And then let me know in the comments.

Lindsay is the Office Superhero (check the business cards) at Mantis Massage. She knows essentially zilch about massage therapy other than that it feels real nice. Lindsay might maybe possibly definitely be inebriated for these discussions, but who's to say?

Image courtesy of thewellnessdigest.com.