Drunk Anatomy

Why do people drink things that aren't Bloody Mary's? Why are we still paling around with other drinks when savory and kind of healthy Bloody Mary's exist? I don't care if I sound like a dad in a Tommy Bahama shirt (that's my dream aesthetic tbfh), they are superior to all other alcoholic beverages. Beer? Who are you fooling? Wine? Why would I want sour grape juice? Other common cocktails? Who needs ya, beat it!

Know what I like but seems too TIMELY to purchase? Silk/satin embroidered bomber jackets. They're so cool looking but they're so RIGHT NOW, does that make sense? I hold onto clothes until they stop being usable (tears, sweat stains, I'm a delight) so I can just hear all the "Oh, is it 2016?" if I'm wearing one a year or two down the line.


The muscle of the week is the plantaris!

That was possibly the least relevant intro of all time.

Oh, I'm sure I'll manage to make it even less relevant in the future. Have some faith.

Plantaris doesn't sound like a muscle, right? It sounds like a class of distinction like genus or phylum, don't you think? Let me know in the comments how wrong you think I am!

What's interesting about the plantaris is that something like 10% of the population is missing it! It can't be terribly important if that many people don't have it and probably don't even know that they're missing something. It's like when you fall in love after being single for a long time and never even noticed how empty your life was but here it's with muscles and not intimacy.

Information: the plantaris is a long, skinny muscle and tendon in the back of the knee/calf.

That was 10% information and 90% rambling.

Is that not the ratio we're aiming for? Are you actually here to get as much information on the plantaris muscle as possible? Or are you just here for some general knowledge? If it's the former then we've had a miscommunication about the nature of this blog.

Let me know in the comments if you think I've been unclear about what your expectations should be!

The plantaris helps with flexing the ankle and knee, but sources indicate that it does so just barely and your other muscles could take care of it without contribution from the plantaris.

Times when you use your plantaris but could def still do these actions without: high kicks; pointing your toes; pilates; Tae Bo; the moonwalk; most dancing; strutting; sauntering; swaggering; walking in a normal way that doesn't start with an 's'; jumping jacks; jumping; swimming; trying on a pair of shoes and extending your legs to examine how they look; and other instances!

Let me know in the comments what instances you're outraged that I've forgotten!

No one's going to leave you a comment.

You think I don't know that?

There aren't any stretches that focus solely on the plantaris because as we all know, it's small and relatively useless. If you have a tight plantaris, you probably wouldn't know that specifically--just that your calve is sore. A calve stretch you can do, that you probably learned in P.E., can be done either with a stair or curb. You put your toe on the curb/stair/heightened elevation mechanism and pull your heel down towards the ground.

Voila! You have stretched calves and by extension, stretched your plantaris.

Lindsay is the Communications Maven at Mantis Massage. She knows essentially zilch about massage therapy other than that it feels real nice. Lindsay might maybe possibly definitely be inebriated for these discussions, but who's to say?