Drunk Anatomy

So. So. Sooooooooo. So. So so so so so. That doesn't look like a word anymore. It doesn't sound like a word anymore. It's weird how words are words just because we decided that a collection of squiggles and sounds means a thing. It's a good thing I'm alive now (hmm, debatable) and not when systems were developing because I would've halted all progress by acting like some sophomore philosophy major, all, "What does this even mean?" about everything. Like language is such a complex, nuanced thing and a bunch of randoes we don't even KNOW put a bunch of noises together and that's how talking works! And we adhere to it every day of our lives! What even is that!

Hey, where are you going? Don't leave! I'll stop, I promise! I was just about to get to anatomy!

The muscle of the week is the quadratus plantae muscle!

You seem like you would've been a really annoying person to go to college with.

I can assure you, I'm a really annoying person to go anywhere with. So the quadratus plantae, first of all, sounds like a plant with four enormous leaves and nothing like a muscle in your foot, which is what it somehow actually is. It's hard to get past this betrayal of expectations, but we have to do it. We have to move on and let go so that we can move forward and get to something beautiful. This blog post is v revealing of my current mental state, huh?

The quadratus plantae muscle is in the middle of your foot, both in terms of layers and geographical location. It's two long strips, which are initially separated by a ligament but come together and attach to (or the proper term "insert at") the flexor digitorum longus.

But...what does it do? Why am I here?

Why are any of us here? Random chance, an accident, no real reason at all??? Oh my god, get me out of this headspace! This is an anxiety nightmare!

The quadratus plantae is in your foot and helps to flex your second and pinky toes. I can't think of that many examples due to the crushing awareness of the gravity of everything around me and also because feet don't do a lot of stuff, right? Anyway, the quadratus plantae is in play when you do ballet and you're standing on your toes LIKE A WITCH; when you stretch your legs and point your toesies; when, if you're like my darling sister Sasha, you wave your pinky toes at people who recoil in horror; when you grip stuff with your toes; when you're running and do that pre-run crouch lunge on the ground; and maybe other times, IDK!

Maybe when you're walking? That's a time that you use your plantar quadratus?

I mean, yeah, if you want to be obvious about it. Pfft, amateur.

Something the owner of Mantis Massage said about feet one time was very illuminating! She said to always work on a client's feet unless they ask you specifically not to (she said this to some therapists, not me, I never have massaged anyone and I never will) because they're holding you up all the time, supporting your weight, and so, guaranteed, they need the work--all of this is true provided that you do stand on your feet and are not in a wheelchair, for example. Understanding all of that, I highly recommend getting a massage and asking for foot work because chances are you need it.

If you can't come in or can't stand the idea of someone touching your feet (girl, same), then get a tennis ball and roll your foot on it. It's a good time.

Lindsay is the Communications Maven at Mantis Massage. She knows essentially zilch about massage therapy other than that it feels real nice. Lindsay might maybe possibly definitely be inebriated for these discussions, but who's to say?