Body Mechanics

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As Massage Therapists, we know how important it is to maintain good body mechanics while we’re at work.  Using proper postures means that we are able to conserve energy and avoid injury. But using good body mechanics isn’t just important for massage therapists, they are important for everyone!

While you move about your day, whether you’re working for an employer and doing work for yourself to help make life happen, chances are that you’re using your body while you’re doing it!  Unless you’ve somehow mastered telekinesis, in which case I’d like to sign up to be your student.

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Especially when we are doing work for ourselves, it can seem unimportant to pay attention to body mechanics, because chances are that we are not going to be working on this same project all day, everyday.  But the truth is, life is happening now! And if you are standing on your head in an awkward twist just so that you can get some asparagus green paint into the bottom corner of your pantry, there’s a good chance you could injure yourself while doing it.  

The basic principles of body mechanics are just not to strain your body, especially not with repetition.  Awkward reaches, unstable stools or ladders, or simply craning your neck to get a better view of your Netflix screen can really add up to unnecessary strain and pain in your muscles and joints.  All of this can be not only uncomfortable, but can actually lead to injury.

So if you are doing something in your life that hurts your body, stop and think, “Is this really necessary?”.  If what you’re doing is exercise, then yeah maybe it might hurt a little even if you’re doing it right. But for just about anything else, it will probably pay off in the long run to stop and get the bigger ladder, to interrupt your Netflix binge to re-adjust your neck, or to pay a professional to paint your pantry.  

Drunk Anatomy

 

Hello, my lovelies! [Oh...Hey.] What? [...Nothing.] Okay, it's obviously not nothing so what's up? [I just feel like we never spend any time together anymore.] I see you every week. [So just once a week is enough? That's it?] Oh my god. [No, oh my god. I'm not going to beg for your attention.] OH my GOD. [Cuz I thought we were trying to make something work but it looks like I'm the only one who gives shit here, doesn't it?] No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Hey, look at me. [I am looking at you.] No, really look. [I am really looking. See? This is exactly what I'm talking about.] I'm sorry, I know you were looking because we're looking at each other. I didn't mean all that, okay? You're my solar system, okay? My stars and horseshoes, okay? You know that, don't you? Okay? [...Yeah, I do. You're right.] My red balloon.

Alrighty-roo, now that that's handled, let's get this Drunk Anatomy show on the road!

[Did you really mean that? When you said I was your red balloon?] Of course I did. You're the only red balloon I've ever had. The only red balloon I ever will have if I get any say. [Ohhh.]

Previously on Drunk Anatomy: we kind of talked about muscles, but mostly it was just incoherent rambling. This week on Drunk Anatomy: more of the same and the muscle in question is the pectineus.

DOES THAT NOT SOUND VERY ADORABLE? IF YOU SAY NO, I'LL FIGHT YOU.

Pectineus sounds like (and I'm basing this on my very possibly incorrect assumption on how it's pronounced) an appletini type drink! Something super cute with a bright statement color that you drink while giggling uproariously and doing shoulder shimmies or something. That's not even kind of what the pectineus actually is, though, we should probably pretend to focus on that!

The pectineus: young, stalwart, unwavering. Not really, it's just a muscle found in the upper-est thigh/pelvic region. (When I say "region," does it take you guys back to Geography class? Where you'd learn about, like, arid climates and plateaus and Reykjavik? Me neither.) It faces the front of the body and connects the pubic bone to the femur. The pectineus is a thin flat band that serves as bridge for these two bones. They need a mediator because they have such gruff personalities and that can get in the way of open, honest communication. It'd just be scraping and clashing if the pectineus wasn't there as a buffer.

[Let's never fight again, okay? This red balloon says so!] I mean, that's pretty unrealistic, but whatever oath the red balloon wants, the red balloon gets.

The pectineus, the lil cutie wears-footy-pajamas patootie, can do thigh movements, but really its passion is in hip flexion and you just have to deal with it, okay? I know, it's unconventional but hip flexion makes the pectineus feel ALIVE. Obviously, that means the pectineus is involved in dancing, what with all the hip swivels, but it also has a hand in: sitting down, fidgeting, the way you arch your back and also your pelvis when you're trying to reach for things, sitting Native American style, a lot of the chair dancing in the "Anaconda" video, power stances, and other things I'd have to concentrate to think of. It does a whole heck of a lot around here and it deserves your respect. (So so so so so so so so off topic but I acutely miss Veronica Mars in this moment. She is a wonderful protagonist.)

I just don't think we should get ahead of ourselves here. [I'm tired of playing it safe! There's never a right time, there's only right now.] Oh my god. Wow. That's...I think I need for you to leave.

Let's talk stretches! The pectineus, the littlest gladiator just tryina make a name for themselves in the brutal world of gladiating and lion-drawn carriage racing, has a few stretches that are super simple but more importantly, very silly looking.

They've done it again.

Let's call this one "The Spider."

This is glorious.

Now, since I'm not going to go to the trouble of following this pic back to its origins, I have to wonder what the hand thing is all about. The logical side of me is saying it's some arm stretch done at the same time, but the dick bagel side of me thinks this some "ta-da!" move from the stretcher because he's trying to make the photographer feel inadequate. Whatever the case may be I'm going to use my position of authority here to demand any imitators also put their hand out in a similar fashion.

Lindsay is the Office Superhero (check the business cards) at Mantis Massage. She knows essentially zilch about massage therapy other than that it feels real nice. Outside of random trivia, she has retained nothing from talking with the therapists re: anatomy. Lindsay might maybe possibly definitely be inebriated for these discussions, but who's to say?

Drunk Anatomy

Happy 2015, motherlovers! I was avec mes families for the holla-daze so we haven't been together in a bit. Two weeks, actually! Two weeks for me to fall for you. Two Weeks Notice with Hugh Grant and Sandra Bullock and their weird, "eh" chemistry. I'VE SEEN A LOT OF BAD MOVIES AND I'M FINE WITH IT. But yes, it's been two weeks and I missed you every time I thought about you, which admittedly was not that much. I've been kind of caught up with The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and Vanderpump Rules for the past however many days so...yeah. If you ever want to talk about either please feel ENCOURAGED to tweet at us. I'm on our Twitter like a comet, which is to say "a lot."

Okay, it's 2015, I missed you, let's drink and talk anatomy.

Specifically, the rectus femoris!

Rectus femoris, sounds like a butt.

Well, it's not and you sound twelve. (Very important aside: I waaaant a hot doooooog. But a pork one because I am from Detroit where hot dogs make sense and are delicious. Gasp. A coney dog right now would be the bomb diggity. Apparently when I drink, my slang gets turned back to 2003. Who knew!) The rectus femoris is a muscle (shock) located in your thighs, the tippy top front of your thighs.

It's one of the four quadricep muscles--did we cover that everything is a lie and the quads aren't just like a thing themselves, they're made up of other things because deception is a fact of life--situated (yeah, I went to college) front and center (yeah, I took drama) in the thigh. It looks just like two strips, honestly there's no way to describe this thing. If you can think of a better way, then you have bragging rights for eternity. Although, it's gonna get real old real fast to hear someone crow about how they could describe a muscle more aptly than some drunk girl online. JUST SAYING.

I don't even know where to start with this. Nothing is on task right now and it's legit confusing in here.

This is the paragraph where we talk about the function of the muscle; what does it do, where does it go, who does it hang out with, etc. FOR SOME REASON IT IS VERY DIFFICULT FOR ME TO WRITE THIS SECTION. I DO NOT KNOW WHY BUT I FEEL LIKE WE'RE AT AN HONEST LEVEL TONIGHT AND I JUST WANT TO SHARE THINGS WITH YOU. LIKE, UHHHH, I'M ON A NO SHAMPOO THING THAT I THINK IS REALLY WORKING FOR ME. RIGHT NOW I'M DOUBLE-FISTING BEER AND CHICKEN BROTH BECAUSE I WANNA HAVE FUN BUT ALSO BE RESPONSIBLE. MY SOCKS DON'T MATCH. I KEEP CHOCOLATE CANDIES AT MY BEDSIDE. I ATE A THING OF QUESO WITHOUT ANYTHING ELSE. JUST QUESO. STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH. THIS HAS TAKEN A TURN.

You use your rectus femoris when you extend or lift the knee, and when you flex the thigh and hip. "When would cases of this be?" you ask because you possess an inquisitive nature and it is a delight.

Y'know how, like, in, like, ballet they do the moves where they lift their legs and, like, move it all around? That's the rectus femoris right there. Also probably during the hokey pokey when the shaking and the lifting happens.

If I flip the switch, I can make the muscle tension drop!

This stretch, oy vey! I don't understand how you can do this without toppling over. I mean, I have the center of gravity of a Weeble, but this seems not doable. You do the old-fashioned "Will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?" pose (It's SO strange to me that people still do this!!! That is weird! And not a good angle! If there's crying then there's snot and you can see all up in there! Whhhhy?) but switch it up a little bit by holding your foot behind your back because this proprosal is going down quirky stylez! You hold that foot and try to bring it as close to your butt (or your glutes if you recall the post...mftzrn weeks ago about BUNS) as you can. It should burn a bit but not be like painful AF. Hold it and stretch 'til you feel a release.

Also, get a massage, you beautiful love muffins!

 

Lindsay is the Office Superhero (check the business cards) at Mantis Massage. She knows essentially zilch about massage therapy other than that it feels real nice. Outside of random trivia, she has retained nothing from talking with the therapists re: anatomy. Lindsay might maybe possibly definitely be inebriated for these discussions, but who's to say?